No One Can Really Know

"No one else can really know how sad or happy you are." Proverbs 14:10 CEV.

Really? Wow. This is definitely a timely word for me. How about you? My whole life I have purposed to seek and find a person(s) who could see my pain, since I had no knowledge of its roots/ source, no words to describe it and no voice to express it. No wonder my life is a record of endless disappointments in this area.

Another translation says it this way, "The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy." NKJV. Now we are all familiar with one definition of 'bitter'. It says in Webster's that 'bitter' means harsh or cutting, as words; cruel; characterized by intense animosity. HOWEVER, did you know that the first definition is actually 'painful to the mind or body; unpleasant to accept; hard to bear; distressful; mournful or pitiable; expressing intense grief".

So, what Proverbs is saying is that no one else can really know what is painful to your mind or body, what is unpleasant for you to accept, what is hard for you to bear, what is distressful to you, mournful to you ... and no one can really understand your expressions of intense grief. For me I suddenly find myself guilty of putting unrealistic expectations on other people to read my mind, sense my pain, and understand my heart.

How much more are we guilty of judging others!! How often have you thought that you knew someone else's pain, someone else's struggle to accept, someone else's challenge to bear, someone else's distress and expressions of intense grief. Ouch! I bet we all fall into that category. Often we think we know, we instruct, we advise, we counsel, we judge, we rebuke, we minimize and then we distance ourselves if this expression of 'knowledge' causes conflict.

Well, I am finally getting to a place where I can start to see the light and I can truly start seeking Christ to minister to my pain. As people we are limited, but Christ really does know our pain and our struggles. Sure, that's great for me ... but what about others?? I know of people who are seeking people to know their bitterness, rather than God. I am sure you do, too. Some people are so broken that they have forsaken their faith. What about them? How do we help them?

Jeremiah 6:14 CEV says about the priests and prophets, "All they ever offer to my deeply wounded people are empty hopes for peace." In the NKJV it reads, "They have also healed the hurt of My people slightly, saying 'Peace, peace!' when there is no peace." Well, first we can say, "Praise the Lord, I'm not the only one guilty of not knowing someone's sadness." It seems to be an issue that is hundreds of years old. Second, we know that God knows! That's right. God knows we are lacking in knowledge, and he also knows that people don't see our pain. This means He does know our pain. Praise the Lord. He also knows the pain of our brothers and sisters. Jeremiah 30 :17a NKJV says, "For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord." In the CEV it reads, "But I will heal your injuries, and you will get well." Praise the Lord. We don't have to be an expert or 'all knowing' about our pain or our friend's pain. Whew. What a relief. (But, remember we are called to love, support, encourage, carry each others burdens. We don't have to point the 'burdens' out or decide their value. We just offer to help carry them.)

Not only will He be faithful to those of us who are serving Him and hurting, but He will also minister to those of us who have departed or deserted our faith out of frustration and pain. Jeremiah 3:22 CEV says, "I will tell them, "Come back, and I will cure you of your unfaithfulness." In the NKJV it reads, "Return you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings." Well, I don't know about you, but I have always thought that the word 'backsliding' was harsh and implied cruel judgment. So, I looked it up. The Hebrew for backsliding means 'apostate'. And the definition for 'apostate' in the dictionary is "one who has forsaken his faith, principles or party." Also apostasy means: "an abandonment of what one has professed, a total desertion or departure from ones faith, principles or party."

Wow. That is heavy. Someone doesn't just decide one day that they are going to abandon their faith. Something BIG has to happen, either suddenly or over a long time. And guess what? We can't possibly know why someone abandons their faith, BECAUSE no one can really know how sad or happy we are. Only God knows and He has promised to cure us and our loved ones from our abandonment, departure and desertion of faith .... if we just turn to Him.

Lord, we pray that (like me) our loved ones will (1) realize that no one else can really know their pain, (2) that You do know the pain, (3) that You will heal them. Therefore, Lord we pray that we ( definitely me included) will stop judging and start loving unconditionally and that our loved ones will stop seeking only understanding from people, and start seeking Your understanding first. Lord we pray that You give Your people wisdom above all, knowing that with wisdom, they will then begin to seek Your face. Lord let our words be supportive, kind and honest, and let us give the job of healing and instruction over to You. Lord, give us all courage to seek and do Your will. Lord, give us all courage to be honest with You, ourselves and our loved ones. Lord, our battle cry is, give Your people courage and wisdom!

"Israel, you have rejected me, but my anger is gone; I will heal you and love you without limit." Hosea 14:4 CEV

"A kind answer soothes angry feelings, but harsh words stir them up!" Proverbs 15:1 CEV

"Wise people have enough sense to find their way, but stupid fools get lost." Proverbs 14:8 CEV

"Hard work ( and I interpret this to include emotional & relational work) is worthwhile, but empty talk will make you poor." Pro. 14:23 CEV

"An honest witness ( and I interpret this to include confessing our lack of knowledge & our inability to accept or bear things that are unpleasant, mournful and hard) can save your life, but liars can't be trusted." Prov. 14:25 CEV